My name is Keni and this is the most personal post I have written ever since I started blogging a year ago. I thought about whether or not to actually write this- and believe me, the excuses were many. But I am convinced that someone needs to read this. So here it goes…
I wear a ring and it is not for fashion.
I am not married either (even though I have used the ring to keep off a man or two in times past)
I took a purity vow on 30th July 2011, in my living room surrounded by my parents. And because I love symbols, I got a purity ring to go with it- with the inscription ‘True love waits’.
No, I didn’t get a manicure just for this post.😊
For the last five years, I have had people look at me and say things like:
‘Ei, you p3 na you are holy eh?’
‘Just how realistic is this thing?’
‘Is this because you are a pastor’s daughter? Did your father put you up to this?’
‘I bet your boyfriend is getting it elsewhere’
‘So do you and your boyfriend hug or hold hands?’
‘Wait oo! So how will you know that you will be good at having sex when you finally get married?’
…. and so many other things that I would rather not put in writing.
In this day and age of ‘sexual self-awareness’, where there is a steamy sex scene after every 15 minutes in your favourite movie or series, and every song has one sexual connotation or another, I am here to offer another alternative.
Wait until you are married to have sex.
Not because you are afraid of getting pregnant (because Ghanaians will never forgive a woman who is pregnant out of wedlock) or because you don’t want an STD or because you are afraid of getting caught. Because if you think about it well enough, there is a way around each and every one of these excuses.
Do it because ‘no other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Or don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.’ (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
It is possible. It is, trust me.
There are young men and women who are littered around the world who have chosen to wait. It is not easy but it is doable.
You don’t need to have a ring like I do. You just need to make a decision in your heart to do it and then go ahead and do it. It helps to fill your mind with teachings on purity. There are books like:
Why True Love Waits by Josh McDowell.
I kissed dating goodbye by Joshua Harris
Passion and Purity- Learning to bring your love life under Christ’s control by Elisabeth Elliot.
When God writes your love story by Eric and Lucy Ludy.
And the bride wore white by Dannah Gresh.
Beyond waiting by Rebekah Snyder.
Every Young Man’s Battle : Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation by Stephen Arterburn.
Every Young Woman’s Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World by Shannon Ethridge and Logos Bible Software.
If reading isn’t your thing, you can go the visual or audio way.
Pastor John Egyir Croffet, Rev Eastwood Anaba, Amos Kelvin Annan, Pastors Panyin and Kuma Adusa- Amankwah are all Ghanaian ministers who have spoken about purity. There are also ministers like Joseph Prince, TD Jakes and Francis Chan.
It is also helpful to listen to godly music. You will think about sex if you listen to songs that talk about sex. You should also surround yourself with people who think the way you do and can relate to the struggles you go through to stay sexually pure. Because it will get tough, trust me on that one.
The Bible says, ‘Do not be deceived. Bad company corrupts good character.’ (1 Corinthians 15:33) It makes a ton of difference to be surrounded by people who are on the purity journey and can encourage you. The Holy Spirit is also a true helper in reminding you of what God’s word says or convicting you when you do something you should not have done. He will help you answer questions like:
Is a little sexting harmful?
How far is too far?
A little porn wouldn’t hurt anyone, would it? Masturbation?
What’s wrong with dry humping?
And if you do stumble on the ‘road of purity’, don’t forget that God wants to forgive you more than you want to forgive yourself. Even if you feel like you are tired of saying yet another Jesus, please forgive me’, remember that you have been clothed in righteousness in Christ Jesus. It doesn’t matter what the devil brings to mind to condemn you when you lift up your hands during praise and worship. What matters is what God has to say about you. And He loves you- beyond your wildest imagination. Embrace his love and forgiveness and get back on the purity road. 😊
I wish I could tell you that it has been a smooth ride ever since I took the vow.
But ‘I press towards the mark of the high calling.’
I invite you to do same.
God bless you!